You can't go in there

Unit-by-unit inspections are something I loathe. It means, as the name implies, that we have to go inside every single unit to make sure everything is in working order and that people aren't living like complete slobs. I don't like seeing how other people live and it is the ultimate in adult babysitting because you have to tell them to basically "clean their room." Pigs.

One, always drunk and obnoxious, resident refused entry to the property manager, my boss, as soon as the door opened. She informed him what we were there for and he said, "let me make sure my drawers are open," or something along those lines then promptly shut the door in her face. When we came back to him later, he really put up a fight.

"What do you want to inspect, to make sure I fold my shorts the right way?" the boozy man slurred.
"No, we just want to check your smoke detectors and see if there are any leaks," my boss replied.
"Okay," he responded. I was surprised to think he was actually going to let her in. "But you can't go in the bedroom. There are two lesbians making love in there and I don't want you to see it."

Not surprisingly, there turned out to be no lesbians in the bedroom. His inebriated vision of "one black one and one white one" was clearly fictitious.